My mother, Shirley Rose Buckley, was a unique woman who lived a full life…the kind many of us aspire to. She met the challenges presented her with strength and determination to see her way through and find the joy and laughter that fueled her passion for life.

When very young, she discovered the joy of making people laugh, and using her back porch as a stage, sang and danced for her neighbours. In high school she wrote a humorous school newspaper. And after having met her lifelong partner, Gordon, she carried joy and laughter to their relationship. On April Fools day, he might find an onion in his shoe, or waxed paper as the lunch meat in his sandwich. On St Patrick’s day, she dyed the juice and milk green. She greeted Halloween children in a black witch’s costume with a stocking over her face, and wore shoulder pads to host the Gray Cup parties with dad’s post-war buddies.

Shirley loved to entertain. A week wouldn’t go by without friends or family for a visit and meal -- desserts, her specialty. Every occasion ended with cherry cheesecake, lemon meringue pie (dad’s favourite), chocolate cake with Peppermint icing for birthdays, or key lime pie when she was in Florida. Each year she hosted a huge staff Christmas party for the school at which Gord was principal, complete with her specialty Christmas fruitcake, shortbread cookies, and boxes of treats she’d spent months preparing.

Service played a huge role in mom’s life. In Oakville while we were growing up, she was a Brown Owl. And for more than twenty years, she was the volunteer Church Secretary at Hopedale Presbyterian. She typed envelopes and delivered them weekly to Hamilton to collect money for the Sunday roast. And whenever help was needed in the Special Ed classes at dad’s school, mom was there to lend a hand.

Once retired and settled in the house they built in Smithville, mom visited the hospital weekly to sing and play autoharp for folks on the chronic ward. And service included family. Mom and dad helped son David rebuild and renovate his Music Studio in Grimsby, and they travelled to BC for a month every year to lend a hand to daughter Erin and her family on the farm. My lifelong dream was to build a house, and so in 1988 mom and dad moved into a tent on my property in Mulmur and together we built my beautiful log home.

Mom and dad loved to travel, and after retirement toured England, New Zealand, Hawaii and California on month-long adventures with friends. Sadly, she never made it to Japan, a trip she’d dreamed of ever since dad was offered a teaching position there, but turned it down because it was too scary for his mother. Instead she surrounded herself with beautiful Japanese art, statues and mementos to maintain her passion for the culture. For more than thirty years mom maintained a friendship with a Japanese mother and daughter, hosting them in visits to Canada, sharing tea ceremonies, English/Japanese lessons, and a trip to the cottage.

Once mom and dad decided to winter on Pine Island Florida, they soon volunteered to be on the Flamingo Bay Pool committee and opened and closed the pool and arranged the schedule of volunteers to help until they became too teetery to pull the big cover over without falling in. They helped with the Ice Cream social, dances and potlucks, and mom was the Sunshine lady for Curlew Drive. With all that she and dad found time to sing in the Pine Island Methodist Church choir.

Mom lived with us for the last few years, and when it came time for her to move into assisted living just minutes away, I visited almost every day. She had a treasury of family stories the way some folks replay their favourite tunes. But when death was nearing on November 2nd, I became the storyteller. For the last few hours of her life I looked into her blue eyes and recounted for her memories of the many people she touched and many adventures she had. I talked about things we’d done together as a family when I was growing up, and moments we’d spent together since then.

I talked about buying a cottage in pieces. Moving it to the Shebeshekong River near Parry Sound, hauling it over the rocks by horse and wagon and with Grandpa Larry’s help trying to figure out how to put it back together.

I talked about friends and family that had joined us at the cottage. The many trips up the little Shebe to visit the Hookers and Shirley (mom’s childhood friend) and her family. The sing songs every night on the front porch or around the fire with Grandma Smith, always starting with ‘Red Wing’ and ending with ‘Goodnight Irene’. And of course, the family card games starting with Keno, when Grandma Smith was still alive, and more recently with ‘B…your neighbour’.

I talked about our summer camping trips with relatives and friends, starting with Expo 67 in Montreal, BC the next year, and the East Coast the year after. But our family destiny was determined when Gord and Shirley put their canoe in Remi Lake near Kapuskasing, and both caught a pike at the same time. After that we were there for a month every summer with the Walmsley’s…family friends from Oakville.

I talked about our music lessons, teachers we’d had, concerts, practicing for hours on the old ‘Bell’ Piano of Grandma’s in the basement.

I talked about mom’s love of hosting dinner parties and family events, and how our Grandpa Larry would record the latter on his camera, and how he held us as a captive audience by including a cartoon or two.

I talked about her generosity, as both mom and dad donated constantly to charity organizations, sponsored a child through World Visions, pledged money to their various churches, plus funded some private charity donations towards music and dance.

If you are reading this, chances are your name came up, and something Shirley and you shared together was mentioned. In those last few hours I rediscovered memories of the many people she touched and many adventures she had. The stories came easily because Shirley was a woman who grabbed the ‘brass ring’ of life every time it came around, no matter how challenging or scary it might be. And it always awarded her a unique life experience.

My children talk of my mom as a legacy. I agree. My mother was a model for me in being a strong independent woman. Generous, kind, persevering and understanding.

I learned from Shirley Buckley that if I looked into someone’s eyes, smiled and opened my heart to love, I could make a difference in people’s lives.

Diana Buckley

I think one of the greatest gifts from a grandparent to grandchildren is a sense of place, a history of where we came from, and by living out a life before us, a sense of where we might be headed. My own children love to hear what life was like before they arrived on the scene, and they get particular joy from stories about what their parents, uncles and aunts got up to when they were young themselves. At their age, they don't mind the repetition--demand it, even. Grandma was a great storyteller. I laughed at her stories about my mom and the trouble she got into on her way to school as a kid. I cherished her memories of my uncle and aunt, of all the musical talent in the family (which somehow passed me by), of my great grandmother and summer camp, of how Shirley met Gord and how Gord and Shirley found the cottage which meant so much to all of us as kids...even the big fish stories we heard over and over! They were great and she told them with enthusiasm. I'll admit there were times I rolled my eyes to hear repeat something, or maybe because I was sure she was exaggerating, but I can see now the importance of the repetition. Already, like the fish Gord and Shirley loved to catch, the stories recede quick and can be hard to grasp. She caught them for us, threaded them through our lives to connect us to each other, to her, and to Shebeshekong.

So sorry to hear this! She was a precious person! You are so lucky to have known and loved her! You have such wonderful memories! Prayers for this very hard time!

Becky Mundall

I'm so sorry for your loss she was a sweet lady.

Sharon Hagopian

Oh Erin,

So sorry for your loss. You always traveled to visit her and loved your time with her. I can just imagine how you feel, hugs to you and your family.

Willis Nicole

Such a sweet lady, please accept our condolences to you and your family.

Marilyn Glasgow

I'm so sorry to hear this. She was such a kind woman. Love to you and your family.

Paul Harris Erin

Sympathy goes out to you and your family.

Nancy Webster Nelson

Deepest sympathy to you and your family

Thelma Richmond

Will be deeply missed what a great woman she was.

Cora Sager Christle

So Sorry to Hear Erin!! I know how much you loved her and Im so glad you got to spend all the time you did loving and being with her. Her kindness and generous spirit live on in you and everyone she touched.

Andrew Hewitt

Shirley was one of a kind. RIP Shirley. My condolences to you Erin and your family and may they bring some comfort to you and your family in this time of sorrow .

Vida Potter

Our deepest condolences Erin and everyone.

W Gordon Rigby

So sorry to hear about your mom. She was a wonderful lady and mother.

Patricia Patt

Sorry for the loss of your Mother. We have fond memories of her. We’ll be praying for your family.

Terry Brewer

Heartfelt sympathies to you and your family as you grieve Shirley's passing. We join you in in the sadness of loss, but celebrate her precious life. She was one-of-a-kind unique and wonderful. She has left such a precious legacy to all of you.

Barbara Meck Keiper

She was a wonderful woman, I will always smile when I think of her. One of a kind.

Bonnie Praay Vannett

Erin, I’m so happy I had the opportunity to know your sweet mother. God bless you all; I’ll save my hugs for when you get down here❤️

Beverly Eastwood Brewer

So sorry to hear of your mom's passing. She was a unique and amazing woman.

Carol Town

So sorry for your loss. Your mom was an amazing person. Joe and I were remembering the Canada day parade down the driveway. Fun lady. Great grandma ♥️♥️♥️♥️

Jazzman South

We’re so sorry to hear of your mom’s passing. She lived a very full life. We’re so fortunate to have known both of your parents tho for a short time.

Betty Lebert

She was such a colorful lady with many great stories to tell. She certainly raised a fine family, especially you and Diana who go out of your way to give comfort to others. I hope many are there to give comfort to you both.

Maureen McDonald

My condolences. Thanking your mother also for all she gave us through her legacy of your beautiful family.

Bless your way.

Paula Cranmer-Underhill

I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your Mom Erin. You will always cherish the beautiful memories you shared with your Mama and you will feel her presence for the remainder of your life. Such a precious gift!

Lois Lipinski

There is no loss like that of the loss of a mother. It leaves a deep ache in the soul. Memories will help soothe that ache, but it will never be completely gone. A reminder of a love like no other between daughter & mother

Wendy Young-Eisworth